Fan Fiction: The Sound of my Heart -3

*An Otherworld Fan Fiction....*



Chapter 3


It was inevitable really. Peace does not last indefinably; he had just assumed that when danger did strike he would handle the problem with swiftness and ease, just as Tennu have before him. Lesser demons were no trouble for a Thunder Demon, Demon Wolves and Lynx Demon patrols, only there had been more than expected. They had laid a trap. They had ambushed them. There had been no one to take to the air as Tennu would have once done. Azuma hadn’t been close enough to protect that one injured Lynx. He couldn’t call down his lightning through fear of hurting the others. So despite the patrol slaying the lesser demons it was already too late for the Lynx, he would die from the blood loss. It was a travesty. It was a loss of life that fell upon his hands. The others said in somber voices that they didn’t blame him, but he ignored them all. He carried the body back himself.

		He felt Kage’s eyes watching him. The body of the Lynx Demon lay dead in his arms was a representation of all his failures. He failed to be strong enough, he had failed to stand on equal ground with his family, but above all he had failed to step out of Tennu’s shadow, and it was latter, more so than the others, that filled him with the most guilt. He turned to her then and with a voice demanding the truth he asked her, “Would Tennu have acted the same?”

Kage looked regretful for a moment before answering no; he would have acted differently. Azuma felt a rush of disappointment at those words. He was not living up to Tennu’s legacy, no one saw him as his equal, which meant he wasn’t and perhaps never would be. “Tell me then,” he insisted suddenly, “what would he have done? What am I doing wrong?” Kage looked pityingly at Azuma for a second before answering, “You did what you had to do and what you thought best, Tennu would have done what he had to do and what he thought best.” Azuma challenged her with his eyes to say more, but it seemed she had said her piece and Kain began to gently lead her back to the tower. Azuma stood there for a while longer, bathed in the blood of lesser demons and gently let the body he had been holding slide to the floor. He didn’t know whether he was crying or not, but if he wasn’t he wished he could be, if to do nothing more than let out some of the pain. “Please, remove the body,” said a soft voice beside him. He felt a touch gently guide him and he looked up to see Rimari’s concerned eyes watching him. “My mother told me everything; his death wasn’t your fault, Azuma.”


		Azuma sat upon the windowsill in his room and watched the clouds roll overhead. Storms usually had a soothing affect upon him, but for the last three days they had done nothing to ease the guilt in his soul. Rimari had led him to his room on that fateful day, but once there he had given the boy only brief one-syllable answers to his concerned questions and eventually the other seemed to realized Azuma’s need to be alone and left.

That had been days ago and Azuma had barely moved from the spot Rimari had left him, even when the white haired boy returned each day to try and coax him out of his wallowing, nothing seemed to work. Azuma just kept playing different scenarios through in his head, each one where the Lynx Demon didn’t die, where he had succeeded rather than failed. In each vision, he could be proud of himself, but when each dream faded, reality hit far too hard. It was his fault, he should have anticipated the attack, planned a better defense, and he should have protected them all. When the door creaked open slowly he expected it to be Rimari but instead he saw a flash of red eyes and immediately knew that the white haired boy had had a hand in this affair. He felt the familiar hand lower on his head as his uncle stood behind him; Souten had always been his favorite uncle, the one who seemed to understand him best. “How’s my favorite nephew bearing up,” he asked with a grin, sliding down to sit on the sill beside Azuma. The only answer he received was a vague shrug, Azuma didn’t even dare meet his uncle’s eyes, the shame was too great.

		Azuma had always seen his uncle as someone to look up too; Souten had proved himself worthy and won the right to become leader of the Thunder Demon clan. He remembered his uncle once saying to him and Amika that one day the clan could fall to them, as Hiten had no interest in it and both he and Aniki would never sire children. He still considered that day to be the happiest in his life; he still remembered that his excitement had far exceeded that of his sister. It became his goal to be recognized as an equal amongst his family, if only to prove his worth to his uncle, so he could rest assured that when the time came the clan would lie in good hands.

“I failed to prove myself,” Azuma declared quietly, “my mixed blood makes me too weak, I’ll never be as strong Thunder Demon like you or Aniki. I failed.” Souten looked at him oddly. “Don’t give me any nonsense about mixed blood. Why do you desire to prove yourself strong anyway? No one thinks you’re weak; in fact, father says you show a lot of potential for your age.” Azuma knew he was making excuses, his blood had nothing to do with it; it was his heart and determination, they were weak. He needed a stronger heart like his grandfather's to succeed, to become a great protector. Unless his heart became stronger he would never prove to the people of The Keep that he was worthy of Tennu’s place. “I will always be walking in Tennu’s shadow; Kage will feel I’ve let her down. I let the whole Keep down,” Azuma admitted to his uncle angrily, finally looking up and meeting those blood red eyes. Souten, finally feeling he’d come to the root of his nephew’s torment, placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Tennu was Tennu and you are Azuma. Kage doesn’t judge you for what you have done. Yes, Tennu would have handled things differently, but he was older, more experienced and had different powers. She does not look down on you for not following in his example to the letter. If anything I think she is grateful that you are so different from him, she doesn’t need a constant reminder of Tennu every time she looks at you. She allowed you to take the place as head protector; she must have seen something worthy in you.” Azuma processed his uncle’s words slowly; he had so desperately wanted to belong, to be needed, that perhaps he forgot himself. His uncle was right -- Kage wouldn’t want him to be like Tennu, and there would only be room for one of those in her life. He spoke with his uncle for many hours and Souten admitted that although Hiten had been saddened by Azuma’s sudden departure he was proud of him for making his own choices. Azuma couldn’t help but feel relieved that his grandfather understood his reasoning. It was strange that despite having grown up in the village, he already felt more at home here in The Keep. So when his uncle came to leave he knew he could wait no longer, he had to go and apologize to Kage for the way he spoke to her.

		Kage seemed pleased he came and as he sat down beside her and explained himself to her he felt like he was slowly becoming the true protector he desperately wanted to be. “You are a skilled protector, Azuma, never doubt that,” she said kindly, a small smile on her face. And then neither said anymore about protectors and patrols, they just chatted, and Azuma knew he had done the right thing in coming here.

Sometime later Kain chose to join them, sitting close by Kage’s side and Azuma wondered again to himself when her heart would be healed enough to accept him. It would not be anytime soon he doubted, but the shy affection was there, and if she could accept Azuma, he had no doubt that she would accept Kain also. He left Kage and Kain’s tower much later than he had anticipated and he noted happily that it was nearing the time he would normally meet Rimari. As he walked towards their usual spot he came to realize, with some shock, that he was finally content with his life. His heart and future had been in chaos when he had left the Village, and now here he was. His Thunder Demon heart had been soothed and he had found his calling; he had found where he belonged. But most importantly he had someone to share that joy with who could appreciate it. He had never had a friend before, only his sister. He missed her terribly sometimes, given they had always been together, but Rimari filled the gap well enough. So as he lay down, just as he had every day for the last few months, below the window of Namari’s room, he listened once again to that friend gently strumming on his harp. He lay with his back on the grass and let the notes of Rimari’s harp float over him. He breathed in the sent of the soft melodic tune and felt calm once again. He opened his eyes to see Rimari looking at him with a smile on his face. “It’s nice to know I have a least one power,” he stated mildly. Azuma quirked an eyebrow, genuinely perplexed and amused, “and what would that be?”

		Rimari chuckled slightly, “oh, nothing spectacular, it’s not thunder or lightning.” At that he closed his own eyes and went back to playing, so Azuma followed suit and let his own eyes drift close. Just as Azuma was about to drift off to sleep, he heard the gentle melody of Rimari’s voice carry over breeze to him, and the words made him smile despite himself. Yes, perhaps it was quite an impressive power to play to the sound of someone else’s heart.